Dandelions May Look Like They're Falling Apart, but They're Actually up for Something Even Better5/21/2017 Are there any flowers you like? Roses? Tulips? Cherry blossom? Orchids? Do you like them because they are colorful? Or is it because they smell good? These are undeniable very beautiful flowers, but my favorite one is dandelion. When people see a dandelion, they may think it's just another wildflower which isn't good-looking, is fragile and weak. But no, dandelions aren't weak even though they may look like they're falling apart. Everything You Don't Know About Dandelions Do you know where the name "dandelion" comes from? It's from French "dent de lion", which means the lion's tooth. The flower is being called the lion's tooth because of its coarsely-toothed leaves. The dandelion is the only flower that represents the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds are the stars. Every part of the dandelion is useful. Its root, leaves and flower can be used for food and medicine.
Dandelions have one of the longest flowering season, and their parachute seeds can be carried by wind as many as 5 miles from their origin. They are also sun-loving flowers. They grow freely wherever they find a bit of earth and a place in the sun. How I Fell in Love with the Wildflower Where I live, it's not easy to see dandelions. But I still sometimes see them out in the countryside. I still remember the first time I saw dandelions. My first impression on them was, wow this cotton-like thing is cute! And as a child, I just wanted to blow all the seeds away. As I grow up, I started to understand the nature of dandelions, and I just can't help falling in love with this free-spirited flower. I used to be quite an inflexible person. It's difficult for me to let go of things because I can't really handle the feeling of things getting out of control. I loved to have everything planned and well-arranged. And I would be very upset if anything unplanned happened. I didn't understand that life never really came with a perfect plan. Some years ago, I had a relationship with a guy whom I loved. We treated each other's family as our own family. We planned about our future. I also put a lot of effort in the relationship, hoping our lives would go the way we planned. But no, things didn't go as planned, we broke up. I was really depressed. I could cry anywhere at any time. I also lost almost 10 pounds in a month. A year ago, I got really stressful at work, so stressful that I couldn't sleep well and I couldn't eat well. I love my career as an editor. I had always done my very best to get good topics and articles reached my readers. It had always been smooth and readers loved the content. But I got lost when I got stuck facing a challenge — a change in the media market shattered the way I thought and the way I worked on content. I started to doubt my ability of being a good writer and editor, I started to doubt if I was passionate enough for my career, I started to wonder if the career was my true calling or if I was only too proud to quit. My mind was a mess during my very lost period. I talked with friends about my struggles, and thought about my life quietly whenever I was alone. I also read plenty of books about stress, change, growth, and life. It took me some time to finally realize what was messing with my mind — my will to have everything in control, my fear of uncertainties. I wondered why dandelions could be so fearless. Dandelions are so light in weight that they can fly to anywhere far away from their origin and start their lives all over again. It almost seems no effort to them to let go, nothing can really weigh them down. They also seem to be fearless even though they aren't sure where they're going to land with the flying seeds. If dandelions were afraid of uncertainties, they would just cling to their stem and would never grow and become something better. If dandelion seeds had fear that weigh them down, they would never go too far away. If dandelions were afraid to change, they'd just stay in the same place and never be free. I learned to live like a dandelion. My urge to hold things on tight hurt myself. My unwillingness to let go of what can't be controlled stopped me from growing. I fell, I learned, and I picked myself back up. I started to live like a dandelion. "Hold tenderly that which you cherish, for it is precious and a tight grip may crush it. Do not let the fear of dropping it cause you to hold it too tightly. The chances are, it's holding you too." — Bob Alberti I've learned to always expect the unexpected to happen. I've learned to do my very best and just let the rest be. I've learned that I don't need everything to be constant, consistent, and under my control. (Because that's no fun!) I've also learned that when I let go a little bit, I'm happier and I actually grow into someone better. Some people may think that the pain of a heartbreak is less severe if a relationship lasts only for a very short time; some believe that if you're not very much into the relationship, the pain of a heartbreak will be bearable. But is it?
Every time you get into a relationship, you risk showing the most vulnerable part of yourself to another person. You actually choose to take out your heart and try to connect it with another person's heart. Imagine two connected hearts being torn apart, of course it will hurt. Even though you may not be super into the relationship, you did connect a part of your heart with the other person's. When the bonding is broken, tearing the connected part of the hearts is of course still a painful experience, same painful. Time isn't a factor that causes a heartbreak more or less hurtful either. It does take time for a relationship to grow, and it's likely that the two hearts get more connected as time passes. But there're also relationships in which the passion and feelings fade as time goes by, and on the other hand some people get really really connected within a very short time. The level of how much you're into the relationship, however, may affect how fast you recover from the pain. The more connected the hearts, the bigger the wound will be left when they're torn apart; and so it'll probably take a longer time for the wound to heal. So I'd say, all heartbreaks hurt the same. If you get into a relationship, expect that you may experience another heartbreak which can be as painful as your last one. (I'm not saying that you should not have faith in your relationships, it's just preparing for the worse while hoping for the best!) Despite what I've said, it doesn't mean that you should not let yourself be into a relationship much in order to avoid the long heart-healing process. Every heartbreak is a lesson in life. You'll learn something that will stay with you for the rest of your life. A heartbreak also means that you have experienced love. And life is so short that it's better to have experienced it than regret never having been in love. More great stuff to read: How It's Like To Be A Person Who Feels So Deeply Why You Still Choose To Fall Into An Uncommitted Relationship When you feel that you’re in love with a person with commitment issues, you can’t help thinking why you fell in love with him in the first place. Why would you, such a lovely girl, think that you deserve being with a guy who didn’t even plan to spend the future with you? You knew that you had to take this relationship easy, and you shouldn’t have any expectations. You knew that the more you expected, the more painful you’d feel when you got disappointed. You manage your emotions carefully, and you constantly remind yourself not to be too into the relationship -- but is that possible? As time goes by, you inevitably spend more time and put more emotions into the relationship. You find this whole thing quite toxic, especially after you’ve read so many articles about what a toxic relationship is like. You wonder if you should let go of this earlier, yet in your heart you want to go on with this because you still like him. You convince yourself that “there’s nothing to lose” because you’ve already passed through some really painful breakups and holding on to this relationship is just going to be another life experience, another harsh lesson. You think, “What could be worse? Probably it’s just going to be another heartbreak, another massive cry; I can get through it surely.” It looks like you can convince yourself that way, but your instinct and your heart keep telling you that this relationship could be slowly intoxicating you. You feel like you’re in an addiction. You know the relationship is not healthy, but you still take it all. You know you can get rid of this addiction yet you don’t want to stop it at all. You want to wait until that fire really goes off and then you can gladly say goodbye. (And for sure you know this ain’t logical at all!) But wait a minute and think again, this is sort of what you actually expected. You expected that you just wanted to have a try and see what thrill would be added to your many years of life experience. You didn’t want to regret letting your fear stop you from experiencing life. “If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless.” You make your choices, but you can never know everything or have control of everything. Why not just stop struggling, experience life and enjoy the ride? You may feel really sad at the end, but you will be fine!
More great stuff to read: How It's Like To Be A Person Who Feels So Deeply Things Change, People Leave, And Life Doesn't Stop for Anyone People change, like seasons, and there's nothing you can do about that.
You can only learn to accept it because you do need to understand that you're just human being, and you have limitations. You can't control everything and everyone; yet you can control your own mind. I know it hurts when you have to accept changes. It's not the change that hurts you, it's the memories of how things used to be that hurt. A mature person would understand that what happened, happened. The past cannot be changed, memories' gonna stay. It's the present and future that you need to work on, so focus on figuring out the best ways to move on. Let go and move on - it's easier said than done, I know. But you have to remember that you're not doing this alone. You still have family and friends who love and care about you. There're people standing by you. There're people who believe that you'll be able to go through the tough times and get out of the storms stronger. Things change, people change; but life doesn't stop for anybody. Life goes on, and you must move on. There's no "what if" or "could have"; there's only "it is". More great stuff to read: Why You Should Follow Your Dreams Now, Not Later How Keeping A Diary Makes My Life Better If you're someone who feels deeply for your surroundings, you live on the edge of depression and joy. At one moment you feel so happy about the bird tweeting on the branch nearby; at another moment, the falling of leaves reminds you of the emotionless law of nature. Your emotions go up and down so often that you're sometimes frustrated about this too.
I'm the kind of person who feels very connected to things and people around, so I do understand how it feels to be a person who feels so deeply:
There's nothing wrong with feeling so deeply about everything. This is who you are, and because of you, the world is a little less cold. More great stuff to read: How Keeping A Diary Makes My Life Better An Open Letter to Whom I Don't Want to Let Go Of Hey,
It's been some time, but I still miss you so much. I dream of you almost every night. Every time I think of you I cry. Every morning I have that hollowness in my heart which is killing me. Things around me just always remind me of you. It's such a hard thing for me to accept that you've already been trying to let me go but I just can't do the same to you. I seem ok when I hang out with friends (which I've been doing a lot recently) but actually I'm not. I don't seem to be able to put you behind my mind. What we did and talked about just a week before you said you needed time to think about our relationship were real. Why things could change completely just a week later? Why you can be so hard-hearted to me... We had two brilliant years together. I loved you and I still do. Maybe I don't know much about love either, maybe that's just feelings for you...but I never thought about giving up this relationship, and I never thought about giving up on you. I always had faith in you... Remember you said you wanted to be my first and last boyfriend? Where's that passion in you now? I'm still hoping this to come true. Every memory I recall about you is happy and sweet one. I wonder how you feel when you recall those memories. I had never cried while playing the piano. Now I really can infuse my emotions to the melodies. Not sure if it's something I really want to be able to do though. All of a sudden, I find myself related to all the sad songs and I finally understand the lyrics...even the melodies. My brain tells me to be logical, to let go of you, and to accept that this is happening, that we're no longer together. But my heart keeps telling me that there maybe still a chance that we'll get back together. I just need to do something to touch your heart, something to get that spackle back into our relationship. It's been weeks that we haven't contacted each other, not a call, not even a text message. How have you been? I know it's not like a very very long time....but having you disappeared in my life for a few weeks is a really long time. Do you know how I'm actually feeling? Do you understand how much I miss you? I'm trying my best to move on. I totally understand that life must go on. I'll sleep, eat and live well, yet that doesn't mean I'm okay not to have you in my life. I wish to have you back in my life. Miss you. More great stuff to read: Nothing - A poem about a breakup story Some People Are Worth Melting For - What Olaf from Frozen Teaches us About Love "Some people are worth melting for." -- this short but sweet sentence said by the cute snowman Olaf keeps running in my head after I watched the Disney movie Frozen.
I like how true love is illustrated in Frozen. This time, it's not the love between the prince and the princess any more like most of other Disney movies. It's more about the love in a family, the love between sisters. Having a younger sister myself, I had a really deep feeling about this sisters' love. Love is not just a kiss. It's not about having the same interests. It's not only about having similar thoughts. It's not about how you feel about another one at one moment. It's about the effort you're willing to put on another person with no request for paying back. It lasts not for a moment, but for ever. True love is sacrifice -- willing to melt yourself for someone's goods. It's easy to say "I love you" between couples these days, but what about "I can sacrifice for you"? Not so easy huh? Yet that's what love actually means. True love is -- when you see who you love gets hurt, you will not only feel hurt but also try to heal his/her wound; when you see your loved one is getting stuck, you will help him/her out; when you see your loved one is in danger, you will save him/her by whatever it takes. I believe that I'm worth melting for (at least to my family), and I'm learning how to melt for others. Hope you'll find the people who are worth melting for and figure out how to melt for them. :) More great stuff to read: Nothing - A poem about a breakup story An Open Letter to Whom I Don't Want to Let Go Of The Family - A poem about a sad family The western Valentine's Day used to be just another ordinary day for me, let alone Chinese Valentine's Day which was a lot less celebrated on Hong Kong. I didn't care much about valentine's days but don't get me wrong, I was not the kind of "couples haters". I would just like to lead a completely normal, happy and simple life with my friends.
There was actually nothing bad about being single because you could lead every day just the way you liked without needing to take care too much of a significant other's feeling. Yes, that's freedom. But these days, I'm different. Being in a relationship now, all the lovers-related days always reminds me of someone who I love and care about; Valentine's days are no longer just another ordinary days to me. When I said "no longer another ordinary days to me", I didn't imply the necessity to have great celebrations. Today's Chinese Valentine's Day (Qixi Festival) celebrates the annual meet of the cowherd (Niulang) and weaver girl (Zhinü) in Chinese mythology. The two lovers' legend has been a romantic story to us even though they didn't make great surprises or give valuable gifts to each other. Their true love and never-give-up spirit are what we are in remember of and what we should learn about. Take a minute and think, when was the last time you met the one you love? Have you ever complaint to your partner that s/he hadn't spent much time with you? I'm often told that "love is not just about THE moment, it's about on-going and lasting". If I'm only living the moment today, I will be easily blinded not to see the future, the better future. It's a typhoon night, I wonder if Zhinü and Niulang are hugging together and standing against the strong and blunt wind on the day of their annual meet.... An office worker is not highly paid,
but he keeps his head down and works. Off sometimes he goes to drinks to relieve his grievance and pressure. He never says a word to complain because he knows he has to raise his child. She cares and looks after her child, stays at home and does domestic works, washes dishes everyday but is never paid. She meets the teachers as they complain her child, at school, have drinks. The kid explains that he’s under pressure. He goes back home after a long-day works, she shouts at him as she smells the drinks, he’s mad and asks her not to complain, says he wants his job to be well-paid too, says he can’t any more stand the pressure. She ignores him and irons the shirts for the child. The other day before he leaves for works, he says, ‘Davy’s school fees were paid.’ She thinks he’s giving her pressure, as if saying that she knows only to complain. She doubts if he only cares about the child, gets so heated that she opens the fridge and drinks. ‘If you just do the same, the teachers will still complain!’ She has just met the teacher again and scolds her child. ‘I didn’t do wrong and I was just having drinks.’ She’s upset and regrets getting the school fees paid, ‘if you don’t behave well, you’ll have to go out for works, and I don’t care if you can’t handle the pressure!’ Davy starts to blame her as he knows she drinks too, he’s down and really wants to complain. She knows he’s spoiled as the only child, she’s living with a lot of pressure but her husband just works and works to try to be very well-paid. She is not paid to do the works, who cares? He drinks to alleviate the pressure, who knows? To complain is their child, expected? More great stuff to read: Why Feeling Disheartened Is Not A Bad Thing Sometimes How Keeping A Diary Makes My Life Better Nothing - A poem about a breakup story You held my hand tight,
tears drowned your eyes and mine, contentment’s out of the sight, was it meant to be a sign? It wasn’t a goodbye, though you’d be millions miles away, I asked why I couldn’t just smile. I look into the sky, cloudless and stars twinkling, to me the loneliness is haunting, tears in my eyes I cry. I hate to cry but can’t help weeping, I thought, to me you left was just nothing. More great stuff to read: Why Feeling Disheartened Is Not A Bad Thing Sometimes Why We Don't Feel Our City the Way We Feel For Other Cities |
about annalysisAnnalysis is a little space for me to share my thoughts and feelings. It's the analysis of life through Anna's eyes. Follow me:
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