What is a life of fulfillment and happiness to you?
Having or making a lot of money? Working a well-paid job? Going traveling every now and then? Having a house or two? Being seen as a successful person? Being healthy? Being with your loved ones? Doing what you love every day? Helping others and make them happy....
The list can go on...
Everyone can choose the kind of life they want to lead. So there really isn't a good or bad kind of life (well, as long as people aren't hurting others). After all, it's their own choice and they have the full responsibility to accept what may come because of the decisions they've made.
If making more money or working a well-paid job is what you find fulfilment in life, then keep your head down and work, stop complaining about the boring job or having little time spent to relax. That's your choice.
If going traveling every now and then is what you love, then don't get upset when your money is all saved for traveling, or when all your time is spent on planning for the journeys, or about whatever obstacles you encounter before, during or after your journeys. Deal with the obstacles. Because that's your choice.
If having a house or two is what makes you happy, then don't complain about cutting your entertainments, having to work extra harder and saving all your money for these things you crave for. Because that's your choice.
If being seen as a successful person is what you want, then don't tell people how hard it is to reach your dreams. Success never comes easy. It takes million times of failures. And if you fail along the way to your goal, face it and learn from it. Because that's your choice.
If being healthy is what you value, then stop blaming about how hard it is to exercise regularly and eating only healthy foods. That's your choice.
If being with your loved ones is what you want, then don't moan about the bad things about your partner (or family). No one is perfect. Anything sad between you and your loved ones needs to be communicated and solved, there's no fleeing away. Because that's your choice.
If doing what you love every day makes you enegized, don't compare yourself with others' jobs which may have higher salary or more employee benefits etc. Because that's your choice.
If helping others is your purpose, then don't tell others how difficult in reality it is to help those in need and change their lives. That's your choice.
At the end of the day, you are responsible for yourself (and others too are responsible for themselves).
Whatever you live for, there's always the upside and downside of it. If this is what you truly want and feel happy about, you must embrace the downside of it too -- no complaining.
If you complain about your life all the times, take a moment to think about whether you're really doing what you find happiness and fulfillment.
To me, writing stuff that helps people reflect about their lives and change for the better is what I find meaningful and fulfilling. I won't complain how much work I have to do to read, learn, think and write. I won't complain how difficult it can be to reach my writing goals. I also don't mind if there're people who don't support me or disagree my stance. Because that's my choice, and I'll always do my best to live the life I want.
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Different Isn't Wrong. You Don't Need To Fit In All The Time.
Dandelions May Look Like They're Falling Apart, but They're Actually up for Something Even Better
Photo Credit: Persnickety Prints
Are there any flowers you like? Roses? Tulips? Cherry blossom? Orchids? Do you like them because they are colorful? Or is it because they smell good?
These are undeniable very beautiful flowers, but my favorite one is dandelion.
When people see a dandelion, they may think it's just another wildflower which isn't good-looking, is fragile and weak. But no, dandelions aren't weak even though they may look like they're falling apart.
Everything You Don't Know About Dandelions
Do you know where the name "dandelion" comes from? It's from French "dent de lion", which means the lion's tooth. The flower is being called the lion's tooth because of its coarsely-toothed leaves.
The dandelion is the only flower that represents the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds are the stars.
Every part of the dandelion is useful. Its root, leaves and flower can be used for food and medicine.
Dandelions have one of the longest flowering season, and their parachute seeds can be carried by wind as many as 5 miles from their origin.
They are also sun-loving flowers. They grow freely wherever they find a bit of earth and a place in the sun.
How I Fell in Love with the Wildflower
Where I live, it's not easy to see dandelions. But I still sometimes see them out in the countryside. I still remember the first time I saw dandelions. My first impression on them was, wow this cotton-like thing is cute! And as a child, I just wanted to blow all the seeds away. As I grow up, I started to understand the nature of dandelions, and I just can't help falling in love with this free-spirited flower.
I used to be quite an inflexible person. It's difficult for me to let go of things because I can't really handle the feeling of things getting out of control. I loved to have everything planned and well-arranged. And I would be very upset if anything unplanned happened.
I didn't understand that life never really came with a perfect plan.
Some years ago, I had a relationship with a guy whom I loved. We treated each other's family as our own family. We planned about our future. I also put a lot of effort in the relationship, hoping our lives would go the way we planned. But no, things didn't go as planned, we broke up. I was really depressed. I could cry anywhere at any time. I also lost almost 10 pounds in a month.
A year ago, I got really stressful at work, so stressful that I couldn't sleep well and I couldn't eat well. I love my career as an editor. I had always done my very best to get good topics and articles reached my readers. It had always been smooth and readers loved the content. But I got lost when I got stuck facing a challenge — a change in the media market shattered the way I thought and the way I worked on content. I started to doubt my ability of being a good writer and editor, I started to doubt if I was passionate enough for my career, I started to wonder if the career was my true calling or if I was only too proud to quit.
My mind was a mess during my very lost period. I talked with friends about my struggles, and thought about my life quietly whenever I was alone. I also read plenty of books about stress, change, growth, and life. It took me some time to finally realize what was messing with my mind — my will to have everything in control, my fear of uncertainties.
I wondered why dandelions could be so fearless.
Dandelions are so light in weight that they can fly to anywhere far away from their origin and start their lives all over again. It almost seems no effort to them to let go, nothing can really weigh them down. They also seem to be fearless even though they aren't sure where they're going to land with the flying seeds.
If dandelions were afraid of uncertainties, they would just cling to their stem and would never grow and become something better. If dandelion seeds had fear that weigh them down, they would never go too far away. If dandelions were afraid to change, they'd just stay in the same place and never be free.
I learned to live like a dandelion.
My urge to hold things on tight hurt myself. My unwillingness to let go of what can't be controlled stopped me from growing. I fell, I learned, and I picked myself back up. I started to live like a dandelion.
"Hold tenderly that which you cherish, for it is precious and a tight grip may crush it. Do not let the fear of dropping it cause you to hold it too tightly. The chances are, it's holding you too." — Bob Alberti
I've learned to always expect the unexpected to happen. I've learned to do my very best and just let the rest be. I've learned that I don't need everything to be constant, consistent, and under my control. (Because that's no fun!) I've also learned that when I let go a little bit, I'm happier and I actually grow into someone better.
Ever felt like you don't fit in anywhere? It's alright, that's not your fault. (Yea, Divergent is real.)
Some people can easily find the group they belong to, some just can't, not because they aren't capable but because they're just different. And being different doesn't mean it's wrong.
In our society where there's a norm that we're used to and would like everyone to follow, people rarely doubt what they're taught to believe or dare to be different.
When the world keeps changing, things keep changing, our minds can't really catch up with the change. We tend to stick to the status quo because it's safe, it's stable, and it's almost effortless. And being different could mean walking alone, which is a lot more risky than staying in the big group. In order to survive, we're inclined to the safe approach, it's just human nature.
So people try their best to make sure everyone fit it, especially people who're close to them. At first it may just because they want them to be safe too, at least by how they define "safe". But they've never really thought about what'd really be best for different people. Things that fit their needs don't always fit others'. What they see as dangerous might actually be safe to the other ones.
For those who are trying hard to fit in any groups, start to explore who you really are instead. The harder you try to fit in others, the more you're concealing your real self. Stop looking for approval from others, stop living to meet others' expectation, and start to look into yourself and ask, who you really are, what you really want, and whether you'd really be happy even after you've "fitted in".
If you can't imagine yourself being happy even after trying so hard for a long time to fit in, you'd better stop. After all, it's your own life and you're the only one who's responsible for yourself. All the things you experience and feel, no one else can understands as much as you do. If you're not doing things that you love and want, you're the only one who suffers.
I'm not saying you should shut yourself out from your closest ones' advice. They give you advice because they love you. Listen to what they say, but think with your own brain. Being true to yourself isn't the same as going reckless. Clearly think about what you truly want for yourself, not for anyone else. It takes courage to be a little rebellious towards the "norm", but it's all worth it at the end when your life is fully lived.
More great stuff to read:
How It's Like to Be A Person Who Feels So Deeply
How To Give Up On Your Dream
My sis is graduating today, going to her graduation ceremony be like, wow people here are so young, so fresh. I wonder what these graduates think about their future.
It's totally just the beginning of another stage of life. And these graduates will realize every challenge they encountered when they were still students really was just nothing. All the big things they thought which were like disasters to them were just small things when they look back to those times a few years later. They'll find out, the real education only starts when they finish school. All those silly times at school were great, but they'll have to face the reality and the real world out there, finally.
What's that thing that they have to face? Umm, growing up, yes, that's the thing.
You never wanted to deal with growing up (I know, I've been there too), but you'll find out that you don't really have a choice. This is no longer about your parents wanting you to, nor your boss of your first job asking you to, but because that's the only way you can make yourself better and stronger. You don't grow up to please others, no. You grow up for your own good sake.
Growing up may seem scary at first, but as time goes by, you'll get better. Well, things will not get easier in your life, it's just you will grow stronger. You'll experience failures, you'll make lots of mistakes, and things will not go the way you plan. You may find yourself feeling lost at some point of your life, not sure whether you're taking the right path for yourself, and trying to find out what you truly want and who you truly are. Feeling lost is okay, before you find your way you have to feel lost first. You'll be disappointed, by others and by yourself, but it's alright too because you'll know yourself more.
Don't let growing up scare you fellows! As part of the life process, enjoy every moment of growing up -- the joy, the tears, the pain and the rage. Your life is made up of all those moments. Embrace the changes that you'll face and make growing up meaningful and remarkable. When you take off the gowns, you'll have to get ready for the journey to explore yourself and the reality.
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
We all had a dream when we were small, didn't we? But how many of us have really followed our dreams and made them come true?
There're a couple of common reasons why people don't follow their dreams. Some blame it on reality, saying that their dreams are not down-to-earth and won't help them to make a living; some blame it on their capability, saying that they don't have enough time, energy or money to equip themselves with the skills needed. I have to be realistic too, that for some people, money could be a great restriction. Yet, not all of the people who choose not to follow their dreams have that limitation. What limits them is their fearful mind.
People are fear of the unknown and the uncertainty; they're fear of stepping out of their comfort zone and doing what others aren't doing. They want to make sure everything's right and ready. They want to be absolutely certain about everything first.
Recently I've visited an art exhibition held by a local institution. There were a lot of inspiring works painted by young artists. I was especially impressed by this one:
Inside all of those cans are the dreams this girl has over the time. One by one, the dreams just "expires" like canned goods as time passes. The girl's dreams have never come true, and she just looks at them expire. All her dreams have been lost and there's nothing she can do to chase back those times.
Are you storing your dreams somewhere but not doing anything about them? If your answer is yes, please dig them out before it's too late. You don't need to wait for the best condition to do what's right for you. If you keep waiting for the perfect time to do the thing you want to do, you may end up missing all the valuable chances.
Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. - Napoleon Hill
If you're someone who feels deeply for your surroundings, you live on the edge of depression and joy. At one moment you feel so happy about the bird tweeting on the branch nearby; at another moment, the falling of leaves reminds you of the emotionless law of nature. Your emotions go up and down so often that you're sometimes frustrated about this too.
I'm the kind of person who feels very connected to things and people around, so I do understand how it feels to be a person who feels so deeply:
There's nothing wrong with feeling so deeply about everything. This is who you are, and because of you, the world is a little less cold.
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How Keeping A Diary Makes My Life Better
An Open Letter to Whom I Don't Want to Let Go Of
I've been writing diary since I was 12 years old. I have so many journals that I think I can have them filled up a huge bookshelf, or maybe two. Just by counting how many pages there must be will cause you a headache. Alright let me do some quick maths....it's one page per day, and there're 365 days in a year, and 365 times 14 equals to 5,110. Wow!
I actually started keeping a diary for a quite silly reason, it was because the football team I supported lost in the World Cup and I felt so upset that I just wanted to write down how I felt. I was surprised by my insistence as well after writing an entry a day for the following week. I have to say, keeping a diary has made my life better and I'm glad that I've started it at a young age. Here's how keeping a diary makes my life better.
My Feelings Are Expressed.
It doesn't matter if you're sad, happy or mad, however you feel, just write down in your diary. No one's going to judge your sadness, happiness or anger. Your diary will take it all - your tears and you smiley faces. Whenever I felt sad, I could keep writing for at least four or five pages for just one journal entry. The funny thing is, my writing style changes according to my mood too! (I'm sure it can look like a chapter of a tragedy written by a miserable woman if you read it haha!)
My Memories Are Kept.
Not everyone has a good memory, even for those who have really good memories, there're details in stuff that they forget. If you write diary every day, you can record down all the details of the things you saw and did on that day. This is actually good when you're going to talk about things happened in the past. Instead of arguing with your friends whether you guys watched a rom-com or a sci-fic movie on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday morning a year ago, take a look at your diary and you get the answer.
My Motivation For Life Is Always Kept.
It's not that I want anyone of you to look back and indulge yourself in the past; it's just, it can be really interesting reading your previous diary entries. You'll see how much you've grown up, and how tough you've become. Sometimes I look back just to realize that I've become stronger than I ever imagined. I was once very upset because of my favorite team losing a match which doesn't even mean a thing to me now. I once thought school exams were everything to my life and look at me now, there're more things that are a lot more challenging than exams. My past makes me who I am today and all those experiences are motivating me to hold on to my life more every day.
My Life Story Is Recorded (For My Loved Ones to Know).
Well I'm not saying that I'm gonna make my diary a biography, and I'm not significant enough to make my diary inspiring like Anne Frank's (at least not at the moment). But having my own life written down on papers is like taking notes of my life so that I can vividly tell my stories to the ones I love in future. I sometimes just read out some of the great moments I had with my family to my sister, and we'd laugh at those silly moments together.
Keeping a diary has made my life better, and I think you should pick up your pen and start to write your own journal too! And maybe one day, you'll thank me :)
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How to Give Up On Your Dreams
Things Change, People Leave, And Life Doesn't Stop for Anyone
More great stuff to read:
Why You Should Follow Your Dreams Now, Not Later
How It's Like To Be A Person Who Feels So Deeply
Have you ever had a feeling of disheartened? You give up your hope for someone or something you used to have a lot of expectation on… That feeling is indeed, quite upsetting, but it doesn’t mean it’s something negative all the time.
I felt disheartened when
I don’t take “disheartened” as a result; rather, I take it as a process and an alternate way that leads me to somewhere suit me more. Yes I’ll need to go through some hard times, some are really tough ones, but I’ll be able to get over them. Being disheartened cannot be an excuse of quitting life. When you learn to forgive the people who failed you, and the things that disappointed you, you’re leading a brand new life for yourself. When you get disheartened, that’s when you can pick up the smashed up pieces of yourself and match them back to form a new picture.
If you get discouraged or depressed, good! It’s because you’ve started to look at your life seriously and crave for a change. Just don’t look back! Start to find your own way and lead a better life!
More great stuff to read:
How It's Like To Be A Person Who Feels So Deeply
How to Give Up On Your Dreams