It's been some time, but I still miss you so much. I dream of you almost every night. Every time I think of you I cry. Every morning I have that hollowness in my heart which is killing me. Things around me just always remind me of you. It's such a hard thing for me to accept that you've already been trying to let me go but I just can't do the same to you. I seem ok when I hang out with friends (which I've been doing a lot recently) but actually I'm not. I don't seem to be able to put you behind my mind. What we did and talked about just a week before you said you needed time to think about our relationship were real. Why things could change completely just a week later? Why you can be so hard-hearted to me...
We had two brilliant years together. I loved you and I still do. Maybe I don't know much about love either, maybe that's just feelings for you...but I never thought about giving up this relationship, and I never thought about giving up on you. I always had faith in you...
Remember you said you wanted to be my first and last boyfriend? Where's that passion in you now? I'm still hoping this to come true. Every memory I recall about you is happy and sweet one. I wonder how you feel when you recall those memories.
I had never cried while playing the piano. Now I really can infuse my emotions to the melodies. Not sure if it's something I really want to be able to do though. All of a sudden, I find myself related to all the sad songs and I finally understand the lyrics...even the melodies.
My brain tells me to be logical, to let go of you, and to accept that this is happening, that we're no longer together. But my heart keeps telling me that there maybe still a chance that we'll get back together. I just need to do something to touch your heart, something to get that spackle back into our relationship.
It's been weeks that we haven't contacted each other, not a call, not even a text message. How have you been? I know it's not like a very very long time....but having you disappeared in my life for a few weeks is a really long time. Do you know how I'm actually feeling? Do you understand how much I miss you?
I'm trying my best to move on. I totally understand that life must go on. I'll sleep, eat and live well, yet that doesn't mean I'm okay not to have you in my life. I wish to have you back in my life.
More great stuff to read:
Nothing - A poem about a breakup story
Some People Are Worth Melting For - What Olaf from Frozen Teaches us About Love